Grooming is NOT a Normal Activity
The original article has been removed, and updated July 16, 2022
This article was originally a response to an article that Dr Jessica Taylor had written about grooming being a totally normal activity. It is not.
Our only purpose in being here is to combat, and raise awareness, of grooming.
At the time of her original article, I personally felt invalidated by the suggestion that grooming is normal. This suggestion removed my right to feel angry, along with that of other victims of grooming. It reduced our right to campaign against grooming by implying that grooming doesn't exist and is completely normal. It took away the validity of what we exist for at CAAGe. It removed the impact that we've had and the lives that people have reported we've saved. And it challenged the understanding of grooming as a distinct, unusual activity.
So of course I responded on my own behalf, on behalf of other academics who've looked closely at grooming, and of all the victims of grooming that we serve daily, challenging only the ideas, not her personally.
I looked forward to the discussion and to raising the profile of the issue. Until recently I have had great respect for what she's achieved.
However, it appears that in the process, however, I have upset Dr Taylor in a way never intended.
I mistakenly believed that an academic purporting to help victims would be happy to have a discussion about how to better the World, but it appears that Ms Taylor instead viewed my challenging of her views as 'harassment'. She has, I understand, has been repeating this publicly to people who matter greatly to me, including at a feminist organisation I support and constantly learn from.
When she recently posted on Twitter that: "Is anyone going to step in and say literally anything about the constant, disgusting and obsessive harassment of me, Jaimi and the kids or are we fair game?", I had no idea that it could possibly refer to CAAGe/me. But she has reportedly been telling people that I/we have harassed her. I am horrified.
We have blocked her on social media channels so that she can no longer feel that this is the case, and if something I or we have done has caused her personal distress, I apologise unreservedly. She has not contacted us with regard to anything other than objecting to the article that was here two years ago, a challenge to her original article on grooming, and to let us that our original article had failed to include her (then) new title, Doctor, which we corrected.
For the record, I/we have been very supportive of her work, including, and not limited to:
- sharing her publicly available free course with people who might benefit from it;
- encouraging her not to give in to bullies when she claimed she was being hounded on LinkedIn;
- shared details of her work where it was appropriate to our audience;
- bought a ticket to her very first book launch to support her, although she cancelled that without explanation.
Furthermore we have not entered the fray of allegations against her that she used victim's stories without their permission.
I am sad therefore that I/we now have to completely and totally refute any allegations that we have harassed Dr Taylor, and if anyone is speaking with her, I'd be grateful if they could point her in this direction.
I won't go out of my way to share this - I have no desire for the publicity of a cat fight. It will be David versus Goliath anyway, as we have a very small, narrow niche audience, and I am already dealing with my own trauma without adding a public fight which would serve neither of our causes.
The article that was here originally challenging her views that grooming is normal has been copied and I'm happy to send a copy to anyone who would like to see it, although her original article has since been amended a little, rendering ours meaningless in many ways anyway.
The article did, however, end in the following way, and I'm going to leave that ending here as it remains my wholehearted sentiment:
From Claire, with the very best of intentions, with love and with the hope that we can all pursue justice and relief for the victims of grooming.
If you have been groomed, please help us in our fight and answer some anonymous questions on grooming.
Update July 5, 2020
- The original version of this article incorrectly named the organisation at Victims First rather than Victim Focus. Dr Jessica Taylor tweeted us to ask that we change the name, which we have done
- She also asked us to get her name right, but it appears to be correct. She was given an email address for her to clarify anything she feels is wrong.
